Hitting Rock Bottom

To be honest, I wish I never promised to post this Friday. It has been a very long while since I’ve last written anything; I’m afraid I might have lost my touch. But I miss the feeling of letting my thoughts lead the way on the keyboard. I miss typing down my thoughts, revisiting feelings and turning them into words. I miss the sound of keyboard clicks; typing, editing, and deleting. This is all a part of who I am; a writer who writes for the sake of her own pleasure. I have so much inside that I would like to unleash and there is no better way to express myself other than writing it all down.

Life has been very bipolar to me. If I can agree on one thing about this year already, it would be that this is the worst year of my life. However, having said that, nothing is entirely bad unless you mentally refuse to see the good side of it. This year has been and continues to be life changing for me; this wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for the obstacles I faced. Surely these obstacles have dragged me down to rock bottom multiple times (which is worse than how the internet describes it by the way), but every time I climbed my way up the air smelled even fresher. I mean to say that even though my downs are triple times my ups this year, my ups still stand out because they possibly represent some highlights and milestones of my life now. So I choose to have faith in God and to always find the light in a dark tunnel; I’m grateful for how life has been treating me.

As you guys know I’ve been trying to get fit since last February, but amid all the drama of this year, I somehow lost vision of that goal. I gained back all the weight I had previously lost, and my fitness went back to poor. I tried to get back on track but I never lasted longer than 48 hours. Along the way, I labeled myself as an emotional eater and one who suffers from binge eating disorder. I’ve experienced multiple episodes of both disorders during summer (and I still do) and having read about them a lot it’s sad to say that there is no cure for them. It’s all about mental discipline and I think we can all agree that this is harder than any other kind of discipline. The good thing is that even though all of my previous attempts to get in shape have failed, I’m still giving it another go. Today is day 7 of #projectcomeback which I’ll tell you all about in the coming posts. I’ve decided that one way to motivate myself to stay on track is by documenting my journey so I’m doing it the only way I know how; writing, photos and videos. Fingers crossed that I won’t fall off the wagon again!

If you’re in no tunnel, please don’t take the sunshine for granted. And if you’re currently in one, please look for the light in it or at least the least darkest spot. Enjoy your weekend, beautiful beings.